Shrekposting Cuz Another 8 Hour Session
Shrekposting Cuz Another 8 Hour Session
Blog Article
Man, this gig really sucks. I'm so dead I could just curl up. All I wanna do is drink some juice and stare at the wall for eternity. But first, gotta post a few Lord Farquaad memes to celebrate the struggle. Life is a real rollercoaster, man.
The climb up the corporate ladder is merely a trek towards Shrek's swamp
Sure, they tell you it's all about ambition, about ascending to the top and controlling your little kingdom. They paint a picture of wealth, but let me tell you, that shiny penthouse suite with its panoramic view? It's just another lonely tower in Shrek's swamp.
Get ready for long days, brainstorming sessions that go nowhere, and a never-ending parade of backstabbing coworkers. Your aspirations? They'll get swallowed up in the mire like website another unfortunate tourist who wandered into this wretched swamp.
- And don't even get me started on the dress code. You think your power attire will impress anyone down here?
- Trust me, you'll be wishing for a good pair of mud boots
If ever you think about climbing that ladder, pause and ask yourself: Is this really what I want? Or am I just bamboozled by the system, only to end up like every other lost soul in Shrek's swamp?
Title: "Important Meeting" - My Inner Self: "Like an Onion, Shrek."
You know that feeling when your manager sends out an email with/about/regarding a meeting and the subject line just screams "urgency/importance/significance"? Yeah, well, my soul is currently experiencing something akin to a cinematic onion. Layered with anxiety/dread/a healthy dose of WTF, each layer reveals/hides/uncovers another questionable/confusing/intriguing detail about the meeting's purpose.
Is it a performance review? A team-building exercise/activity/nightmare? Or, perhaps, the unveiling of a revolutionary/disastrous/slightly off-brand new company initiative? Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a meeting about how to best prepare for/survive/celebrate an alien invasion.
- I crave coffee. Like, a metric ton of coffee.
- Perhaps it's wise to busy with something else.
- Can I survive this meeting without losing my mind?
This Spreadsheet Could Be Done Faster With Titan Power
Look, this spreadsheet is a real pain. I'm drowning in data and formulas, my brain is fried, and the deadline is looming like a hungry goblin. It could really use some serious muscle to get this thing done. I'm talking about the kind of power that only an ogre. This ain't a job for your average office worker, this is heavy lifting stuff.
- How about a team of orcs?
- This spreadsheet needs a supercomputer
- I'm gonna need caffeine injections
Weekend? Nah, I'm Just Going Back to My Layer Cake of Papers
The idea of chilling out this weekend is just hilarious. My desk is currently a fortress of reports, each one demanding my focus. Honestly, I'm more motivated about conquering this pile of assignments than I am about savoring some Netflix. Maybe a Saturday session of caffeine and sorting is more my speed.
Full Time Work Makes Me Feel Like a Donkey in a Corporate Stable
I'm stuck in this soul-crushing monster. Every day feels like I'm trundling along, just another horse in the stable. I'm wrung dry from pushing this burden day after day. I long about escaping.
- Maybe I'll become a farmer and actually actually get to spend time with creatures who are happy in their environment.
- {Or maybe I'll start my own business and finally find peace.
- {Whatever it is, I know I can't stay here forever.{ It's just not worth it.